That Time Jesus Dinged Me for Jerking Off

Detail from a photo by Serge Melki — Basilica of the Immaculate Conception, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=24320911

It happened when I was 13. I was not new to the game; already an old hand, in fact. I learned the basic technique from other boys in the mountain town where I grew up when I was six. We were at it all the time, singly, doubly, in small groups on the spur of the moment when the opportunity was there. They were huge fun.